Jan 23, 2026 - 9:47PM
I DONT CARE!
Instagram is so shitttttttt I hate ut
I hate myself, that's why I stayed up until late so as to get little sleep and wreck my day, I hate myself, that's why I cut , and burnt my skin. I hate myself, that's why I didn't have friends. I hate myself, that's why I tell it to myself everyday. I hate myself, that's why when I was 10, I made myself sleep in the cold hard floor as a punishment for hurting my mom, but to my surprise, that would only make her more mad, more pissed at me, even when I tried to correct it, i only made things worse. And she insisted I slept on the bed, but how could I, the bed was soft and warm, it wasn't anything that I deserved, and after hurting her, how could I, how could I do it. I was already confused and just wanted it to end and get what I deserve, but it only made things worse and worse. And I had to sleep on the bed, I did not deserve to. And only gave more trouble to my mom. I hate myself, that's why I ignore people. I hate myself, that's why I starved myself. I hate myself, that's why I have never ever ever ever ever ever told someone I was hurt, and have been in pain for a long time. I hate myself, thats why I keep making the same mistakes, to hurt me, over and over again. I hate myself, that's why I wanted to kill myself.
I got abused because I fucking deserved it. That's what I deserve.
I don't know if I should say anything, because it feels like everyone went through the same. That doesn't make it good, much is broken but no one ever says anything. No one thinks it's abnormal, it's been made that way.
I wish I could feel happy
because I want to prove that I hate myself huh.
"for once in your life" yeah shut the fuck up. REALLY? I have NEVER in my life listened to you? Ever? If you think I'm so horrible just tell me off omy God. I do listen and I get nothing, I make the same mistake and it's like it's all I ever do, and I ever will be. Fuck if you see me and think I am such a bratty bitch maybe I should just leave because I try to think I am not but then I keep being shunned down and keep being told I will always be like that. Like this. I don't know why I try, or if you pretend to like me. Pretend like I'm not a monster. If I am a monster then stop filling me with false hope and just let me hate myself is that not what we want? If I don't deserve compassion why do you pretend. If people like me deserve to be punished, deserve to be hurt, if that's the truth, if I am actually so dispicable why even put up with me, if I cause trouble, and am insufferable, and a burden, how can you not hate me, how can I not hate myself. All of this just makes me want to destroy myself . Why can't I, I wish I could beat myself up until I passed out. If this is the unraveling of self hatred, of course we don't like horrible people. Of course. Doesn't that make you want to beat me to death, because it does for me. Doesn't unmoralness conjure a ticking purge? If that's who I am, and I'm reminded of it, if I'm reminded that I have nothing but hate towards my existence, why switch between pretending otherwise, I wish I could just get it over with, or live in denial, but why waver in between, if remembering makes it harder to pretend the next day, and just reminds me how I shouldn't be here, ifim trying to ignore myself, but remember the need to get rid of me, well it's not nice, and the more I fuck up, the more I wish I could hurt myself, hit myself, so I could correct this thick skull and selfish attitude. I know getting rid of myself isn't the answer but the drive I feel the most is to punish the unrighteous, hurt the person, hurt my body, hate myself, hate my existence, and prove it.
I like changing my mind.
It was clear she was the victim, and I was, I, I could've stopped any second, but I didn't, I made it turn out this way, I chose this
This party is a humiliation ditual
"meds could change your life"
its only reasonable people are more well versed in todays politics than that of 50 years ago. Even if the mainstream, and most views, still operate inside the "accepted" boundaries, sometimes even point to how the boundaries are unfairly, erroneously drawn. But we still need to think without the box. The need for community clusters people into groups, groups are polarized to keep both sides busy with each other. Ideas are only discussed within these narrow boundaries, so anything that doesnt fit inside gets drowned, so it gets harder for people to think in other gradients, cause it seems like no one else's out there, or if there are they are "lunatics". Many don't enjoy being alone, plus rejected. However the past can be a great place for context and to find clues. The picture becomes clearer, right?
el PUTO WIFI
No one can make you understand except yourself
if only people could stop using derogatory language to target and refer (those with) "unfathomable" views, opinions, ideas, etc.
to say that some information should be highlighted as misinformation, and instead lead people towards the correct information. But its a narrow set of agents that deem what misinformation is in the first place. We need all information, we need to determine for ourselves, otherwise its not self powered researching, analysing, nor concluding, just understanding whatever it is that you are expected to think
i have fixed my ways, at least im trying to.
no such thing as a normal amount of thinking, however you may find that dwelling on the same thing over and over again is getting you no where, hence 'overthinking'. But that implies you can think 'more' or 'beyond' a 'healthy' amount. Which definitely isn't true, maybe reflecting on whether that thinking is harming rather than helping, which i just self care? I wouldn't even call it "helpful thinking" because it would probably imply a standard people wrongly compare themselves too. That's just the weirdness of linguistics and human nature not being able to accurately be reflected in it, maybe that's why definitiveness, constraints and clear cut definitions can cause infinite confusion and quarrels as one static sentence cannot represent the changing nature of existence, concepts do change, at least our understanding of things. Words are merely (the best) proxy we have
you wouldn't want to stigmatize people for being what they are, in some sense classification is also a culprit since it brings otherness
Christianity androgyny and mbti slop is not something id expect to see
Hank Green π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€oml π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π
the fact that media is expected to be a definite display hub for morality says a lot about societies lack of effort to stop harmful practices
Omohide Poro Poro is my favorite Ghibli film, even though i just watched this one ~half a year ago and ive been watching Ghibli since i came out of the womb basically. Haha it is not only because because i find the main characters childhood abuse relatable nuhuh its bc i ALSO want to be a farmer, checkmate suburbians. hey a girl can only dream amiright πβοΈ
if a bird flies across the frame i dont think thats a distraction
I know i wrote that on a whim but the lack of stricture frustrates me, or rather my lack of knowledge on how to structure writting. I went through 4 years of ontarian highschool english its ridiculous how this isnt address. Sure eng class teaches some stuff but slapping "PEAR" into every piece of written media seems a bit shallow. I dont think all should be aimed to be written like an academic paper, and pear is just a way to structure it yes, but only one way. Maybe i have to tinker to see how to apply the things that work into the way i want to write but the thing its that its ridiculous that youre only presented with one option.
Current culture is ""pornographic"". Its devoid of genuineness, honesty and continuity. Sentiment is hidden under irony. All we are fed is output. Which is definitely satisfying, espeiclally when engineered to evoke no discomfort, but oversaturation is cloying. On the other hand, process can definitely feel tedious, uncomfortable, but it bears richer fruit. Emotion, honesty, thought, ideas, care, art, it all takes time. For songs emerge along silence. Chopped segments forcing their way into the day. But time runs on cycles. Youve comed into metamorphosis only at the end, becoming blinded to the story. Its all the sensations of life removed from experience, from process, from time. Without memory, it erases the subject, erasing the meaning that is existing as "I". What could be more untrue than that. And because all metamorphosis take time we turn them off. So the caterpillar got scared to start the process, and it never changed.
why would you delete my draft fag
i made a pixiv accoutn and its cool rediscovering all the tpn fanart
Top 10 things i love one of them is christian symbolism in the promised neverland
ILL DRAW SOMETHING FOR NINJAGO 15 ANNVERSAYR THIS WEEKBED
i joked around unprompted and now i feel a lil bad
why was 9/11 such a deeper turning point if there had been terrorist attacks before no? at least war , or violence? it cant just be media coverage, bc thats just more and more direct. I think its the measures that made life different ("post 9/11) but those are greatly influenced by the governments laws, i think they just took that event as a way to put '''temporary''' stricter constraints
i have begun to appreciate wikipedia more, its actually so cool (espeically since goog wont show snippets unless -ai, sometimes) i think i just relied on goog to show me wikipedia snippets or similar, but w/o that then wikipedia really comes into place
don't put your thoughts into other's head, i wonder if ill ever learn how to do that
hi im very exited for my free timE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 bu t first i need to finish bio and phsyics -3-
Oh im fucked i didnt realize
Sighhh i dont like myself,nsorry that i keep posting but its actually yhe only thought that comes into my mind
at least i dont want to [actually] kill myself anymore it just feels like that
Actually i dont even know if ive felt better ive just felt less strongly ,i still get sad and stressed and anxious just less right. I mean i do feel happier more often anddddd i dont feel as guilty for being friends with people, for the most part.
i hate this stupida good for nothing brain that cant function unless theres a crocodile holding a gun to my head while arrastandome por la borda of a tall building okay im sorry that was a little mean but i digress
also my thoughts here swing so much in one direction or the other lololololz
Poating here makes me realise how i am in fact not doing well, i mean yes this is the best ive been in YEARS and that is true its better than before. But i guess im still not just fine
I am genuinely sorry for people who are friends with me, i think about that a lot
I didnt realize i ran out of HRT lol ill go after tmrs exam π©΅π©΅π©΅
Im hopeless
i WILL grind #grindmaxxing
I lav ya my silly thoughts page never change
Actually lol im not sharing my intellectual endevours here π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£ ill just use a private server or whatever. Goodnight aweet dreams i need to work on sleeping earlier and actually being able to cry or go away if youre not gonna do that!!!!
i dont care about anything and that makes me have a infinite desire to harm myself and just destroy my physical existence
why have i been getting so sad so easily, theres nothing to cry about, but still i feel like so. why do i feel like crying if theres nothing wrong. im such a sad little man. i know people dont hate me but ofcourse people hate me because i dont like myself
Tech is mostly neutral, at least, we have a problem, and the tool that could solve it, tools are neutral right? The companies and all the jargon that using the tool implies, that isn't, and thats why awarness ia important, but thats where encouragement comes in? ( public insistance?)
hate subscriptions
La puta tele y el putoo wifi π«©π«©π«©π«©
Ok chnaged my name because all fo this is TENTATIVE!!!! My thoughts will change, hopefully, sorry if i wver post something thats weird, post less to make an assertion and more to figure it out. Greatt
I wonder if i should post my actual trains of thoughts...trains??? Lines of thought? I usually think i think about more problematic things than i do i probably dont even, hmm, i just dont trust that my knowledge is correct, i am not confident in my knowledge. But maybe i should post it here so it builds my confidence? Even if its not accurate its not that my practices are bad, and i dont have to double check. Maybe i should put that as a disclaimer i dont double check information usually here because im not posting anything (curated, that i think ppl will actually see so i do care about my influence of my words) uhm if anyone happens to see this, just know everything is, TBD. Not my final thoughts, but we have to get there somehow? Ill just do that here then. No dont look at my psosts ahhh. But then i dont wanna dk it in a google doc or something??? A private account??? Meh wahetevr this is private enough LOLZ
okay i hide from webring lets motha#fri#ckin#re#tard#out
Maybe i ahould opt out of the wrbring cause thisbis where i poatmy hald baked psots no no dont take this sraly guys its wrutten by me. I like learning about tech now and i am an amature in everything i consume
Oh on the flip phone yes i want kyocera but i think i can get another phone and just paint it green lolz, although old android seems fine honestly i just want "dumbphone"" ehh i dont know about that word, as in i wouldn't wish for many modern apps except maybeee youtube through libretube (i love libretube libretube none of that newpipe chud ππ)
Design may be complex but intuitive and functional but why does it have to be ugly. Okay not ugly, just flat, i just think that skeuomorphism can also do a lot for good design in the way it makes it feel more "at home" and bridges the connection to real life. We can have the functions memorized, so theres no functional need to intuitively guide user experience through real life cues, but when you look at a screen who's design does not remind you of anything in real life but other functions in the same screen, what are you looking at? Its like looking at nowwhere in particular, its not trying to be a place (on earth) but its own realm, i just think we are already connected and feel more at home, in our planet you know
I am such a frickinnnnn loser i hate that people have to deal with me and my bullshit. I dont wish to bother people , i just give trouble cause im troubled.
Lose it has been an app since ios 6?? # today i learnt
I can feel my brain rotting. I dont really care much about performance anymore. As long as i know how to learn, and have time for it, and actually get to satisfy my curiosity. Sorry this is genuinine pezposting no fap no cap no filter this is what i like to think about and my mentallity when i am not trying to dilly and dadle and actually communicate, i just want to understand, myself primarily.
If we admire someone for their talent it is not talent in the sense that they can do what we also do much better than us. But in the sense that we can't even see what they are doing or if they are doing something at all
. If you are a cartoonist you don't admire a better cartoonist. That's part evvy and part shame. If you are a cartoonist you admire a swimmer, a cook, a car driver, a singer.
Why do i feel so sad. Why do i get so sad i feel like crying. Like for no reason i just do even if i was fine before.
its kinda hard toread on old reddit
I wanat wa afillipppppphone ao badd and i cant st0pp!nn rbinking aboit it the phone and the phone and ghe j just wantbit in mu hands but i have atuff to do and i need to reaeacrh more, focourse, i just started exploring but mike i need it ahhh;;;;;!!!!!!! Ahhh!!! Please its all ive been thinking ahout
Kyocera π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€ kyocera π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€ flipphone π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€ green kyf31 π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€ ketai π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€π€€
inore te compny idk idc i just can look at tehhe line up pf phones !!! oh my gah!!!!!! https://www.y2kphones.com/collections/japanese-keitai-flip-phones
i love yi sheng
aughh my head hurt
Actually i have hope
srry i dont Jike myself at all
(@previouas posts) yeah whatever you say man ππππππππ green kyocera kyf37 gratina
does anyone like a faggot with trauma i dont onowi feel disgusting for ebeing abused
Also i went to a restaurant and lowkey felt triggered but i tugged it out and still ate a cheescake ay the end so π
I amnoy myself why do i feel like this this strongly and this hated for something it shouldnt bother me if i dont go out of my way to solve it or i cant do much to solve it but i still wish otherwise and i feel hated and forgotten and then i js hate myself for feeling ugly feelings. Are they ugly. Im bad at feeling being left out. Okay.
wiat i ink i fiannlly dnrstand xenoendder, kool.
i soukd be resposible tis weednend
emotional...intimacy????
i think i hate myself because i am lame and insipid a tad bit offputting
i ate cereal so im okay now
tis vivaldi kinda goated
i cant deal with randomness and non rigorous categorization
can my parents stop yelling for no fcking reason
i knw i choose to reserve myself bt after everything always feel , envious? i dont know. and well like a loser, but its my choice cause i keep being apussy
i dont like that
i cant even type what i feel because it doesnt make sense yet it ruins my day
i hate myself so much its ridiculous
my dog so cut3
hehe i am posting
oh almost time 2 sleep,,, i hope its snow day tommoroow
i js found my cousins youtube channel,
do you see so many pink elephants because they are taboo?
i stopped sweating so ill just do one page (οΌβ²β`) spare me, ill sleep in class tomorrow whatevz
there should be a day when no one can be sarcastic or ironic
oh yeah i tried hashtagg soreto π browssers and options are the palemoon and monkey which are more true to back then? but i trid vivaldi js with cooler icons not rlly retro but i rlly enjoy the tools the browser offers. theres also firefox customize w css and you can do more customizization than vivaldi but as i said vivaldi tools r rlly convincing me,, theres also internet brwoser and is cool but kinda nakedbones
im so tired but i didnt study, ive rlly just gave up and chose to sleep instead for the past months 90% of the time but its the last one i guess ill study a bitttt
im so tired but ill go
i have the most basic url but it was too tempting
fackkkkk my chulife
2 go or 2 not go 2 club,,,,
can i stop caling myself slurs
i couldnt run today because it was all icy β―οΈΏβ°
i start learning japanese
kjuΓ€dΓ€
in east asia particularly japan (korea too?) 4 [ε] is seen as unlucky because its pronounced as γ[shi] the same as death[ζ»]. april fools is probably of roman origin (?) . but its interesting how its the 4th month of the year, and despite ε (4) having two pronunciations (γ [shi] or γγ [yon]) april [εζ] is pronounced as γγγ€ [shigatsu]
i like to think,
but i hope to learn how to code so i could technically make smt like this, and everything hopefully ill sneak in cs this semester and ill becoming a CODING MASTER 107 but for now aim a coding crook
this page is so fricking sigma yo. so frickin sigma. ts so sigma. so, si
GAHHHHH ive been looking for a page like this FOREVER i searched the entire web so many sites for a site like this and i coulndt find one so i guess i had to do it myself,,,found this through link im so glad yayayya im gonna use this very much
hosted on thoughts.page. base by evy. trying to customize it more check out the thoughts webring!